Murphy's Laws of Combat
by SunlightOnTheWater
Summary: Anything that can go wrong will. Even in combat. Especially in combat...
1. Chapter 1

Characters: Ironhide, Starscream, Sideswipe, Epps, Lennox

Time: Pre Rise of the Fallen

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Air strikes always overshoot the target and artillery always falls short_

"Starscream incoming," Ironhide called from his position in alt form behind enemy lines, Next to him Sideswipe shifted impatiently, waiting for the jet mimic to come into range. The F-22 soared toward them and then, not slacking off in speed enough, shot by them, opening fire just behind the ranks because Starscream hadn't reacted quick enough. Everyone stared blankly as the F-22 made a wide turn and head back to the Decepticon line at much faster speeds then he had approached. Lennox turned to look at the artillery and groaned. Every blast was falling short. He looked at Epps who simply snickered.

"Murphy's Law," he said with two wide of a grin and Lennox had to laugh. Murphy's Law indeed.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Bluestreak, Mirage, Jazz

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>_-The most dangerous thing in the word is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass_

"I think we're lost." Bluestreak and Mirage both turned to stare at Jazz in blank astonishment.

"What?" Mirage asked after a moment. Jazz glanced around and then back at the map again before nodding.

"Yup. We're lost."

"How can we be lost?" Bluestreak protested. "You have a map for Primus sake!"

"And we're not on it," Jazz procalimed almost gleefully. Bluestreak and Mirage exchanged glances before lunging for the map in question. Jazz darted back but he wasn't quite fast enough and Mirage tackled him while Blue yanked the map out of his hands.

"We're not lost," the young sniper snapped. "We're right here you annoying glitch.

"Fine, fine. Just teasing," Jazz said as he pushed Mirage off him and took back the map. Mirage and Bluestreak just groaned.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Lennox, Epps, Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Jazz

Time: ?, AU

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_If you are short of everything but the enemy you're in the combat zone_

"We need more ammo out here. And reinforcements." Will Lennox's voice echoed over the radio. Optimus, Ironhide, and Jazz all exchanged glances.

"Where exactly are you Major?" Optimus questioned but it was Epps who answered.

"Combat zone."

They could hear Will snicker in the background and then snap "Slag". Moments later an explosion lit up the sky a few hundred feet away. "You see where that blast just was?" Will asked.

"Yes," Optimus said, suddenly getting a very bad feeling about what was going to be said next.

"We're right in the middle of that." Jazz and Ironhide roared with laughter while Optimus stared at the radio in complete disbelief. How did these things always happen?

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Megatron, Blackout, Starscream, Barricade

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>_-If your ambush is properly set then your enemy won't walk into it_

"Is everything set?" Megatron asked for what was the sixteenth time that breem.

"Yes," Blackout said, trying to hold on to his patience. That was when the radio beside them crackled to life.

"We have a slight situation," Barricade said over the radio.

"What?" Megatron snapped.

"The Autobots decided to come in the back way."

Witha growl Megatron leapt up and ran for the door, heading down the corridor towards the back entrance. He could still hear Starscream screeching," I told you it wouldn't work," behind him. He would kill the impudent Seeker later but for now he had to see if he could somehow salvage his ambush.

* * *

><p>I don't own Transformers and I'm not sure how consistently this will be updated since it's just something I'm doing for kicks and giggles. Hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Characters: Donnely, Fig, Lennox, Epps

Time: After SOCCENT is attacked by Blackout

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_No matter which way you have to march it's always uphill_

"Man does this hill ever end?" Donnely complained as they trekked across the sand. Fig muttered something in Spanish and Will didn't have the energy to reprimand him.

"Man we just escaped a massacre by some giant robot and you're complaining about marching uphill?" Epps asked incredulously.

"But we're always marching up hill," Donnely retorted. "I bet you even have to march up hill to get to heaven." Fig continued muttering in Spanish and Donnely turned to him saying, "English dude, English."

"Of course we're always marching uphill," Will said finally, cutting into the conversation. "Murphy's Law remember? No can you all shut up in march?"

They made it fifteen minutes before Fig asked, "So how much farther up hill do we have to go?"

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Sideswipe, Epps, Lennox

Time: Pre Rise of the Fallen

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>_-Odd objects attract fire. You are odd_

"I know they have a lot of firepower but why is it all aimed at me?" Sideswipe whined as yet another bullet dinged his armor. Robert Epps and Will Lennox both held in laughter at the whining warrior.

"Murphy's Laws man," Epps said as he waited for the signal that would allow Sideswipe and Arcee to jump into action.

"What does that have to do with anything? Nothing's gone wrong yet," Sideswipe protested.

"No, no, no," Epps chided. "One of Murphy's Laws of Combat."

"Odd objects attract fire," Lennox explained. "You are odd," he added under his breath.

"You say something?" Sideswipe asked threateningly as a few more bullets pinged off him.

"No signal yet," Will said calmly, struggling to hold in his laughter. Sideswipe just went back to pouting.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Galloway, Epps, Lennox, Optimus Prime

Time: Post Rise of the Fallen

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>_-The more stupid the leader is the more important missions he is asked to carry out_

"Remind me again why Galloway is the liaison and Sam isn't yet," Epps said under his breath as they both watched the military man argue with Optimus Prime.

"Because Sam isn't an adult yet," Will said. "And because Murphy's Laws love us."

"Wait," Epps said, ignoring the fact that Galloway had stalked off and Optimus was walking over to them. "Which one covers this?"

"The more stupid the leader is the more important missions he is asked to carry out," Will said. They both jumped when Optimus started laughing.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Epps, Lennox, Briley Andrews, Ironhide, Fig, Sam, Bumblebee

Time: Pre Rise of the Fallen

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Uncrating and assembly instructions are always in the crate_

"So how exactly do we get this open?" Epps asked looking at the rather large crate in question. Will just shrugged.

"Follow the instructions," Lieutenant Briley Andrews suggested, sounding exasperated.

"And where exactly do you think the instructions are?" Fig asked. Briley heaved a sigh and they all went back to staring at the crate.

"I could blast it open for you," Ironhide suggested, cannons humming.

"No!" they all shouted at the same time, jumping back a few feet. Ironhide sighed and put the cannons away, stomping off. Every single one of the humans around sighed with relief.

"So what's going on here?" Sam Witwickey asked a few moments later, Bumblebee coming up behind him.

"We have the new grenades but we can't get the crate open," Will said.

"And naturally the instructions on how to open the crate are inside the stupid thing," Briley finished.

"Oh..."

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>Riptide2<em>, _SiriusBlackFan2_, and _someone_ for reviewing. On a quick note Briley Andrews is and OC in a AU Transformers universe the story to which I haven't yet posted. I don't own Transformers bu enjoy anyway


	3. Chapter 3

Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Random Decepticons

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_If it's stupid but it works it isn't stupid_

The first words out of Sunstreaker's mouth were, "That's stupid."

"Not like any of your plans aren't," Sideswipe protested, hurt by his twin's disbelief. "It'll work. Trust me."

"I don't know," Sunstreaker said.

"Please Sunny," Sideswipe pleaded.

"Fine. We'll try your plan but if we get fragged I'm telling Ratchet it's your fault," Sunstreaker said sharply. Sideswipe just nodded happily. Ten minutes later a giant neon green balloon was floating over a group of very confused Decepticons.

"What the frag is that?" one of them asked.

"Looks like a balloon," another one said. "What does it say on the side?"

"Property of Wheeljack," a third read. "Wait. Property of Wheeljack!" Instantly all three 'Cons dove for cover. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had trouble holding in their snickers as they slipped behind enemy lines.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Megatron, Ironhide

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_If at first you don't succeed call in an air strike_

"Starscream attack with your trine," Megatron growled over the com link.

"Having a bad day," the Decepticon SIC sneered as he, Thundercracker and Skywarp took off into the air, peppering the ground below them. Then Ironhide nearly blasted Skywarp out of the sky. It was only nearly because TC and Starscream managed to catch him and limp off through the sky back behind Decepticon lines.

"Having a bad day," Megatron sneered as Starscream went by. If the Seeker hadn't been carrying his wounded trine mate he would have punched the Decepticon leader.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Lennox, Briley

Time: ?,AU

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>- _There's always a way and it usually doesn't work_

"There's got to be a way to get to somewhere we can back them up," Lennox hissed. Briley glanced around and spotted an air vent in the ceiling.

"There is a way," she began and then ducked when a blast hit the wall behind them. She turned to see the air vent turned into a pile a molten slag. "And it's not gonna work now."

"Slag," Lennox cursed.

"Exactly," Briley said and then began crawling along the catwalk toward another air vent.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Epps, Briley, Jazz, Buzzsaw

Time: Post T1, AU

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_When in doubt empty your magazine_

"Is it dead?"

"No idea," Briley responded, looking at the small bird like alien robot on the ground and then back at Epps. Both of them shrugged and then finished emptying their magazines into the robot. They heard someone clearing their throat behind them and turned to see Jazz's holoform standing there.

"He was dead before ya shot 'em again," Jazz said.

"Better safe than sorry," Briley said with a shrug and walked off while Epps laughed at Jazz's expression.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Starscream, Bluestreak

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Walking point=sniper bait_

Starscream really did not appreciate Hook telling him to walk all the way across the battlefield with injured wings just to get treated. He was a Decepticon SIC so why did he have to bend to the wishes of the Decepticon medic. That was when a shot hit him in the chassis, knocking him on his aft. Starscream looked up just in time to see the figure of an Autobot, designation Bluestreak, vanish from sigh. Starscream growled as he pulled himself back on his feet. He really slagging hated walking.

* * *

><p>Wow! I'm kind of astonished by how many people reviewed this. A big thank you to <em>RandomReader<em>, _Ripdtide2_, _Exactlywhat_, _Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee_, _hummergrey_, and _DarthKrande_ for reviewing the last chapters! I don't own Transformers but I hope you enjoyed anyway!


	4. Chapter 4

Characters: Barricade, Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Megatron, Soundwave, Rollerforce, Motorhead, Ground Hog, Blaster, Blackout, Frenzy, Rumble, Scorponok,Hook

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Everything will go wrong all at once_

_::Barricade to Megatron. The Autobots have broken through the main line::_

_::Starscream to Thundercracker. What's your position?::_

_::Skywarp to Starscream. He's a little busy dodging Ironhide's cannon fire::_

_::Starscream to Skywarp. Slag! Starscream to Thundercracker. Get your aft over here now!::_

_::Soundwave to Megatron. We may have a-::_

_::Blaster to any Decipticreeps listening. Your communications have just been hacked::_

Radio silence. Megatron waited impatiently while Soundwave worked to undo the hack. Sixty seconds of dead quiet.

Then...

_::Rollerforce to Megatron. Barricade and Motorhead are down. Requesting backup::_

_::Skywarp to Megatron. TC and Starscream injured. Dirge missing::_

_::Blackout to Megatron and Soundwave. Frenzy and Rumble captured. Scorponok in stasis::_

_::Sideways to Hook. Requesting medical assistance at Sector A17. TC, Starscream, and Ground Hog injured::_

It was enough to make Megatron wish he had radio silence again.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Skywarp, Misfire, Starscream, Thundercracker

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you_

"Is it clear yet?"

"I don't know. Go check"

"I'm not going to check," Thundercracker protested quickly. "You go check."

"I'm not going to check," Skywarp snapped. They both turned to look at Misfire and Starscream. Misfire quickly shook his head but Starscream hadn't been paying attention to the conversation.

"You check," Misfire, Skywarp, and TC said.

"Slag no," Starscream protested, realizing what they were talking about.

"Oh yes," TC said as the three of them shoved him foreword. Starscream sigh and leaned his head over the top of the rock. There was a tinking noise as a bullet bounced off the top of the Decepticon SIC's head.

"I hate you all," Starscream growled. "Someone else can go tell Soundwave that the communications are jammed." They all turned to look at Misfire who hadn't been paying attention.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he asked, optics wide and nervous. Moments later he was pushed out of the hideout and into the open. The other three waited for the blasts but they never came.

"Maybe they're gone."

"Go check," Skywarp snapped. TC stuck his head up and then ducked as a hail of bullets came his way.

"Nope. They're just not shooting at Misfire."

"Frag."

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Wheeljack, Perceptor, Ratchet

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Five second fuses always burn in three seconds_

"How long of a fuse was that supposed to be?" Perceptor asked as he pulled himself off of the floor.

"Five seconds," Wheeljack said as he too pulled himself off the floor.

Ratchet blinked as he entered the room in time to see Perceptor wack Wheeljack on the back of the head. "That was three seconds glitch head!"

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Epps, Briley, Ironhide

Time: Post T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Interchangable parts aren't_

"Do we have another part for this?" Epps asked.

"Nope," Briley Andrews replied.

"Didn't they send you interchangable parts?" Ironhide growled, frusterated.

"Don't even mention the interchangable parts," Briley growled.

"They aren't," Epps added.

"Aren't what?" Ironhide asked, sounding exasperated.

"Interchangable," Briley said and then the two went back to work.

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>Pondera2.0<em>, my anonymous reviewer, _BuckeyeBelle_, _Riptide2_, _hummergrey_ (Thanks for letting me know that I'm getting the Decepticon characterization correct), and _Exactlywhat_ for reviewing! I don't own Transformers but I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	5. Chapter 5

Characters: Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and an unfortunate Cyberhawk

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_The easy way is always mined_

"We could go that way," Sideswipe suggested to his twin.

"We could," Sunstreaker agreed. "It isn't guarded." That was when a Cyberhawk landed on the ground and there was a massive explosion.

"On second thought the other way looks better," Sideswipe said with a gulp.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Jazz, Mirage, Optimus Prime, and Megatron

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_One enemy soldier is never enough but two is entirely too many_

"Come on," Jazz muttered from his hiding spot. "Only one." Could this mission get any easier. He glanced over at Mirage who was visible and seemed to share his sentiments. That was when another figure rounded the corner.

"Megatron," Mirage whispered hurriedly before vanishing from sight.

"Oh frag," Jazz groaned. "We are so dead." _::Optimus we got a problem::_

_::What is it Jazz? There are only two energy signals over by your side::_ Optimus responded a moment later.

_::Two too many Boss 'Bot. One of 'em is your brother::_

_::On my way::_ Optimus said and Jazz let out a silent sigh of relief. Maybe now he and Mirage wouldn't end up dead at the end of this battle.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Epps, Lennox, Briley

Time: Pre T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>- _The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it_

"So how close does it need to be thrown?" Epps asked.

"Within four or five feet," Lennox replied.

"I can't throw it that far," Epps whispered, shoving the grenade over to Lennox.

"I can't either," Lennox hissed. Both of them got an idea at the exact same time.

"Briley," they both called as loudly as they dared.

"What?" she snapped.

"Throw this," Lennox said, shoving the grenade into her hand.

"Honestly," she sighed before pulling the pin and throwing it as hard as she could over the small wall they were hiding behind. "Boys."

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Briley, Lennox, Epps, Jazz, Rumble, Laserbeak

Time: post T1, AU

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_When the pin is pulled, is not your friend_

"Here. Hold this for me will you," Briley said, handing the hand grenade to Rumble. Why she even had a grenade while dressed in civilian clothes was a mystery but Epps and Lennox had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with Jazz. Still they were slightly surprised when Rumble automatically took the grenade with the pin pulled. Moments later the small Decepticon looked at it, shrieked, and tossed it about thirty feet in the air. Laserbeak caught it and swooped down to Rumble.

"You should keep a better hold on your things," the robotic bird said, offering the grenade.

"Laserbeak," Rumble yelped. "That's a-" A massive explosion cut off the rest of his sentence. "Grenade," the now blackened minibot grumbled a moment later at the injured Laserbeak while Briley, Epps, Lennox, and Jazz all laughed.

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>Riptide2<em> and _DarthKrande_ for reviewing the last chapter. I don't own Transformers but enjoy anyway!


	6. Chapter 6

Characters: Lennox, Briley, Epps

Time: Post ROTF

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Success always occurs when no one is watching. Failure occurs when the General is watching_

"So remind me again how exactly this went wrong," Lennox said looking tired and run down. The Decepticons hadn't exactly won but that was only because Barricade and Starscream had gotten into some kind of argument.

"Don't worry. It wasn't your fault; Morshower was watching," Briley said.

"What?" Epps asked, confused, as Lennox snickered.

"Murphy again."

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Starscream, Unnamed Decepticon Scout

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_When you have secured the area make sure the enemy knows it too_

"Area secured," Sideswipe said over his com.

"No it's not," Sunstreaker snapped.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!

"Then what's that?"

"Just a Decepticon," Sideswipe said dismissively. "Wait...a Decepticon?" He turned his glare on the confused Decepticon and snapped, "Hey! I secured this area. Get out!" To his twin's amusement the Decepticon actually left.

Behind the Decepticon lines Starscream snapped, "What are you doing back here?"

"The area up there is secured by Autobots," the Decepticon scout said in a dazed sort of tone.

"Who told you that?"

"The Autobots"

The sound of metal palm striking metal forehead could be heard all the way over at the Autobot lines. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker started snickering.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Lennox, Epps, Briley, Ironhide, Arcee, Optimus

Time: Post T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy is incoming friendly fire_

Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Lennox, and Briley were on one team and the twins weren't following commands. Ironhide, Arcee, and Optimus were on the other team. All in all a typical training day at Diego Garcia. Or it was until Briley lost her temper. "Stupid glitches think they can run the show," Briley snapped and then, before Lennox could stop her, she aimed and fire. Her first blast hit Sideswipe in the shoulder. The second hit Sunstreaker in the exact same place. Both spun to face the Lieutenant who had splattered them with violet paint. "You think you can just go around not following orders," Briley growled. "I think not. Get off of the training ground."

"But-" Sideswipe began to protest.

"Off," Briley snapped.

"You can't-"Sunstreaker began.

"NOW," Briley yelled loud enough that they both flinched.

They went, slinking past Epps who was double over laughing and leaning against the rail of the walk way that allowed a person a good view of the training grounds.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Briley, Lennox, Epps, Unnamed NEST Soldier, Optimus Prime

Time: Post ROTF

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about_

"Um ma'am, sirs," a tentative voice came from behind Lennox, Epps, and Briley while they were talking to Optimus.

"Yes," Lennox said without turning around.

"There's a letter here addressed to whom it may concern," the young man said.

"Who is it from?" Lennox asked after thinking for a moment.

"Galloway."

"Toss it," Briley, Epps, and Lennox said immediately.

"Yes sirs, ma'am," the soldier said and darted off.

"Why exactly are you throwing it out? It could be something important," Optimus said.

"It's Galloway," Lennox drawled. "It's never important unless he tells it to your face." Briley and Epps just snickered.

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>wolflover24<em>, _Riptide2_, _penguinfluff_, _gemava_, and _Darth Krande_ for reviewing the last chapter. I don't own Transformers but I hope you enjoyed this anyway!


	7. Chapter 7

Characters: Starscream, Barricade, Decepticon Messenger

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack_

"Starscream?" The mech in question ducked another blast and ignored the messenger. "Starscream." Taking up a new position the Seeker fired another blast, still ignoring Barricade's messenger and hoping the younger mech would get the hint and go away. It worked but it didn't help matters.

"STARSCREAM!" Barricade's voice roared across the battlefield loud enough to make the Decepticon SIC wince.

"What?" Starscream screeched, whirling on the black and white grounder. What he saw made him pause. Barricade's side was literally overrun with Autobots. The Autobots' main attack had been what they had been ignoring. "Oh slag," Starscream moaned as he went to reluctantly help his comrade. Megatron was not going to be pleased.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Briley, Epps, Lennox, assorted Autobots, Barricade, Lugnut, Misfire

Time: Post T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_The worse the weather the longer you are required to be out in it_

Autobot Base

Rain was slamming against the sides of the base when the call came out to mobilize. Epps was the first officer to join a raincoat covered Lennox and Briley joined them a few moments later, her collar tucked up around her neck. "Ready?" Lennox asked and both shook their heads but darted out in the rain after the major. In the military issue jeep they shivered from the chill of the damp rain and cranked the heater. It was forty-five degrees in the middle of January and the rain was cold.

"Why couldn't the Decepticons have chosen a nicer day to plan an attack?" Briley moaned remorsefully when they were forced to get out of the finally warm interior of the jeep fifteen minutes later. Neither Epps nor Lennox had a good answer.

Decepticon Bunker Fifteen Minutes Earlier

"Why do we have to be out here right now?" Lugnut moaned as he, Barricade, and Misfire crouched in the muddy and puddle ridden hole that was once a bunker.

"Because our great and powerful once SIC and now leader requires it," Barricade drawled irritably.

"Couldn't he have chosen a better day for this?" Misfire bemoaned.

"No," Barricade and Lugnut said in perfect unison immediately after the Seeker's question.

"I'm leaving. Forget this," Misfire snarled and took off into the air. There was a long bang immediately after his take off and Misfire was returned rather abruptly to the ground. Barricade and Lugnut exchanged exasperated looks and then they both sighed. Moments later Barricade's holoform was crawling out of the bunker and making his way over to the Autobots. Ten minutes later they were both heading peacefully back to their respective base

Autobot Base Twenty Minutes After the Return

Briley, Epps, Lennox, and the Autobots had just gotten dried off when an alarm went off somewhere signaling they had a Cybertronian attack. "Not again," the three humans all moaned in unison.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Optimus Prime, Fig, Lennox, Epps, Briley

Time: Post Rise of the Fallen

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together_

Optimus came into the base at a little after twelve to find Lennox, Epps, Fig, and Briley all staring in irritation at an opened box sitting on the floor. "Something not fitting together?" the Autobot leader asked.

"No," was the immediate response to all of them.

"Idiotas," Fig muttered in Spanish. "No se puede hacer nada bien."

"Not everything we need is here," Lennox explained with forced patience.

"They shipped the pieces separately," Briley growled before stomping off.

"Morons," Epps added before heading off in the opposite direction. Lennox and Fig both shook their heads and then left, leaving the box in the middle of the floor as if they couldn't stand to be around it even long enough to put it away.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Lennox, Carter Jackson, assorted NEST soldiers, Mainframe

Time: Post T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Smart bombs have bad days too_

"On target," Carter Jackson said, glancing at his computer. "Estimated hit time six point three seconds." Moments later there was a massive explosion and...a hole directly behind Mainframe's head. Everyone was staring at the suddenly very red weapons tech guy. "What?" Carter asked. "Smart bombs have bad days too!"

Lennox just sighed and shook his head before turning to his men. "Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way."

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>Botosphere<em>{_Eowyn77_}, _Whipblade_, _Darth Krande_, _Riptide2_, _hummergrey_ (love to see a picture of that but my artistic skill is zero), _Someone_, _I am Blueberry_, and _Chaotic Streams_ for review this story! You guys make my day! Carter Jackson is an OC from Briley's story and belongs to me. I don't own Transformers but I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	8. Chapter 8

Characters: Thundercarcker, Storm Surge, Silverbolt, Starscream

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Napalm is an area support weapon_

"AUGH!" The disgruntled yell from one side of the battlefield had both Decepticons and Autobots looking in that direction. "Storm Surge why can't you ever aim?" Thundercracker grumbled as he surveyed the smoking and still burning armor of his shoulder. The Autobot he had been fighting, Silverbolt, was also sporting blackened and burning armor as he quickly landed.

"It's napalm," Storm Surge replied with a shrug."I don't need to aim it. After all it is an area support weapon type. Besides I hit him." Then the other Decepticon sauntered away without another word. Thundercracker however wasn't finished with the situation.

With a low growl the flier whirled on Starscream and snapped, "Why in Primus' name did you give him napalm?" The Autobots just decided to settle back and enjoy the show.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Jazz, Bluestreak, Starscream

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_Whenever you have plenty of ammo you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo you can't hit the broad side of a barn_

"Hit. Hit. Hit," Jazz drawled boredly as he stood at the back of the shooting range. "Primus Bluestreak do you ever miss?" Bluestreak just shrugged and kept sighting and firing. It turned out Jazz was going to get the answer to his question later that day.

They were hiding on the edge of a cliff and Bluestreak was worriedly noting the lack of ammo. "I'm going to run out," he muttered.

"Bluestreak look," Jazz hissed. "Ole 'Screamer is gonna try ta sneak up on Optimus." Bluestreak reloaded his sniper rifle, aimed, fired, and...

"Miss?" Jazz said questioningly. Bluestreak tried again with the same result. "Seriously?" Jazz asked with a snicker. "We're in the shooting range and you never miss but when it counts."

"I'm almost out of ammo," Blusetreak hissed before whirling back around and firing without aiming. Somehow he managed to hit Starscream but he was too busy glaring at a snickering Jazz to care.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Lennox, Epps, Fig, Carter, Briley

Time: Pre Transfomers

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>-_If the enemy is in range so are you_

"Are they in range?" Lennox asked, checking his rifle.

Epps stuck his head over the rock and then ducked down as there was the sound of guns firing. "Yup," he said. "Fire at will Captain."

Lennox leaned over the rock to fire and then fell back with a yell that had Carter, Briley, Epps, Fig, and Donnely snickering. "Remember," Briley quoted using a pompous tone. "If the enemy is in range so are you." Lennox just sighed. He would never hear the end of this.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Barricade, Skywarp

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat<strong>- _Mines are equal opportunity weapons_

"Where did you plant that mine again?" Barricade asked.

"I told you. To the left of our position," Skywarp said, sounding exasperated. The flier had gotten a hole in his wing early in the battle and had fallen back to sulk and help Barricade lay mines.

"You go first," Barricade said after a moment's thought.

"I told you it's fine," Skywarp said taking the first step. Barricade was about to follow the grounded flier when there was a massive bang and dirt went flying everywhere.

"Hmm," Barricade said with a shrug. "Guess it wasn't to the left after all." Then he kept walking past a cursing but still very much alive Skywarp.

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>Chaotic Streams<em>, _I am Blueberry_, _Ridptide2_, _PJ-NCIS-TF-26_, _Noella50881_, _theghostqueen_, _SiriusBlackFan2_, _Solstice_, _Darth Krande_, and _hummergrey_ (make what you want of Misfire's fall) for reviewing the last chapter! I don't own Transformers but hope you enjoyed anyway


	9. Chapter 9

Characters: Starscream, Barricade, Megatron, Blackout, Bonecrusher, Brawl

Time: ?

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Whenever you need the artillery they're stuck in the mud_

It was raining, again, just like it had been for the last three days. "One million twelve thousand six hundred and fifty-two," Starscream drawled boredly. "One million twelve thousand six hundred and fifty-three." Clang. Starscream rubbed the back of his helm and glared at Megatron but the Decepticon leader was already pacing away. "One million twelve thousand six hundred and fifty-four," Starscream continued as if he had never been stopped.

"Stop slagging counting raindrops," Barricade growled from the other end of the room.

"Autobots incoming," Soundwave droned suddenly from the other end of the room. All of the Decepticons present instantly perked up at the thought of a fight. They had been sitting here for three days straight avoiding the rain and all were bored and cranky. Megatron quickly outlined a plan and they headed out, heedless of the rain. Exactly four minutes and six seconds later they ran into a problem.

_::Brawl where are you?::_ Megatron growled over the com. _::Are you in position yet?::_

_::No::_ came the succinct response.

_::WHY NOT?::_ Megatron roared over the link.

_::Because I'm stuck in the mud::_ Brawl replied. Starscream, Boncrusher, Blackout, and Barricade roared with laughter at that. Megatron just groaned as Brawl muttered excuses over the com.

_::I'm coming to help you::_ Megatron said when the laughter stopped. Moments later..._::I'm stuck::_ The others were instantly laughing again. "It's NOT FUNNY," Megatron roared but the Decepticons were laughing too hard to hear him.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Wheeljack, Inferno, Ironhide, Decepticon Scout

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Recoilless rifles-aren't_

BLAM! The explosion rocked the floor and left a gaping hole in two walls. One was Decepticon sized and behind it was the smoking remains of the Decepticon scout that had attempted to sneak into the Autobot base through the gun range. The other was Wheeljack sized. Ironhide and Inferno peered through the wall to see the inventor lying uninjured on the floor clutching a gun. "I think you need to work on the recoil for that," Inferno suggested mildly.

"So much for recoilless weapons," Ironhide added with a smirk. Wheeljack just groaned in pain.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Brawl, Jazz, Bluestreak, Ironhide, Air Raid

Time: Pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_Air Defense Motto: shoot 'em down, sort 'em out on the ground_

Everything was working well for the Decepticons until Starscream was suddenly shot out of the air. Jazz glanced at Bluestreak who shook his head. "Wasn't me," the sniper said. Jazz then turned to Ironhide who looked completely mystified. Starscream's screeching moments later answered their question.

"Brawl you slagging idiot! You SHOT ME," Starscream screeched. That was when Brawl hit both Air Raid and Thundercracker, sending them crashing on top of Starscream. A cloud of dust billowed everywhere and when it cleared there was a massive crater in the ground.

The two voices yelled, "BRAWL!" Skywarp nearly fell out of the sky laughing. Moments later he wasn't laughing anymore as Brawl shot him down too.

* * *

><p><span>Characters:<span> Lennox, Epps, Briley

Time: Pre T1

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down the most important ones are always illegible_

"What was that frequency again?" Lennox asked.

"I don't remember," Briley said with a shrug as they huddled behind a half destroyed building. "Ask Epps. He wrote them down."

"Umm..." Epps mumbled, glancing despairingly at his paper.

"Let me see," Lennox said and Epps handed over the paper. Both he and Briley looked down the list until...

"Oh good grief," Briley said. "This is ridiculous." The frequency they need was unreadable. "Next time I'm writing."

"That's assuming there is a next time."

* * *

><p>Thanks to <em>PJ-NCIS-TF-26<em>, _Noella50881_, _gemava_, _Someone_ (thanks for the idea for the first one on this page!), _I am Blueberry, Iridian Nighshade_ (yes actually), _Darth Krande,_ _Steelburst_, and _Jacqueline Walker_ for reviewing the last chapter! I own nothing but Briley and hope you enjoyed this!


	10. Chapter 10

Characters: Starscream, Blackout, Brawl, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Megatron, Scorponok, Bonecrusher, Jazz, Mirage

Time: pre Earth

* * *

><p><strong>Murphy's Laws of Combat-<strong>_ If anything can go wrong it will_

It was all right. Until it wasn't anymore and then it all went wrong. It started with one simple thing; power failure. That resulted in every piece of communication technology they had being shut off on both sides. The Autobots used the bonds to the best of their ability but everything on the Decepticon side dissolved into complete chaos.

It sounded something like this;

"Ow! Slag it Starscream that was me."

"I didn't hit you! That was Brawl."

"Wasn't me buddy. It was Blackout."

"I'm over here glitch heads. I can't even see you from where I'm at let alone hit you from here."

"It was me," Megatron growled. "No shut up and listen."

Jazz and Mirage safely hidden from the confused Decepticons had to fight not to snicker at the confusion. Neither one managed it and Megatron whirled on Skywarp, punching him through the wall.

"What was that for?" Skywarp whined. "I didn't do nothin."

"You laughed at me," Megatron growled.

"Did not," Skywarp pouted. "That was Bonecrusher."

"Was not! Why would I be laughing?"

"Was too."

"Was not. You're the one laughing at all the wrong times anyway."

"I swear on Primus that it wasn't me."

"Fine," Megatron grumbled. "Just shut up." Jazz didn't know if Mirage was recording this but he sure was. This was one for the rec room later. Then his optics lit up with a wicked gleam that would have done either set of twins proud. Why not add to the chaos. On a whim he leaned over and punched Brawl into Scorponok.

"Scree!" The scorpion mimic squealed and bucked Brawl into Thundercracker who punched the unfortunate grounder into Megatron. By then Bonecrusher was attacking Thundercracker and Blackout was blasting at Skywarp who had been standing next to where Brawl was at. Jazz snuck out, snickering, just as Soundwave got the generator running and the lights back up.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Megatron's roar could be heard all the way to the Autobot position outside the temporary Decepticon base. Mirage and Jazz were snickering too hard to report.

* * *

><p>This is the final installment of Murphy's Laws of Combat. Thanks to <em>PJ-NCIS-TF-26<em>, _Noella50881_, _hummergrey_, _I am Blueberry_, _Riptide2_, and _Savvy Enigma_ for reviewing the last chapter! Hope you enjoyed and thank you all for reviewing at any time! I own nothing


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